As the seasons change, I feel like I’m also starting to be a bit more honest with myself. I wrote my official coming out post on Facebook last November and part of me really wants to rehash it. I’m trying my best to put myself in a better place. I’ve been ignoring all the niggles … More AUTUMN IS COMING!
I’m back at work! Only to find that sometimes, things don’t really change. It’s still boring sometimes, and too busy at others (even if my definition of too busy has shrunk to five people wandering the department not needing help). What HAS changed however, is one of the girls at work called me “girl!” and … More BLIP.
I’ve been signed off work for two weeks… I went to the doctors, explained as much as I could – which was actually not very much – and I was actually pretty scared by the guy. He just kept asking me how I wanted him to help, saying he could sign me off work, send … More SICK NOTE
Not that I could even tell you what is wrong. I’ve been in panic mode for half a week now. I just feel like I’m shaking, but I’m not. Or that my heart is racing and sometimes it isn’t. I’m beating myself up mentally for every thought I have that makes me uncertain. I said … More FIX ME, PLEASE?
Sometimes it’s painful to think that this was my actual online diary as I went into complete meltdown… but it’s gonna become that again I think. I’m trying to job hunt and all I keep doing is telling myself I’m not good enough for anything except driving around or working in a f**king store. But … More DEAR DIARY
It’s been a strange week. I was up in Manchester recently visiting Josh’s sister, who just moved into a nice new place. But I ended up sleeping really badly and the last three days kinda blurred together, I was taking painkillers so I could sleep – or else my brain wouldn’t switch off. Sometimes, it’s … More You’ll Feel Better Soon.
Holy f**k, it’s actually been a long time. So my last update was pretty down in the dumps besides a slight transition into Matty, and I’m pleased to say that a LOT of shit has been on the up! I’m f**king Matthias now. I officially changed my name at the start of this year (the … More AND WHEN I COME BACK FIGHTING.