HOW CAN I TELL YOU?

This has been plaguing me for months. How the hell do I tell my parents that I want them to use male pronouns when addressing me? Or that I want them to use those but actually I don’t identify as male, but I am non-binary and would prefer to be masculine presenting most days. I can’t get them to grasp depression and that just wears me down, having another thing on the pile to keep explaining just makes me want to give up searching for myself.

I’ve mentioned this stuff to other people and the conversation has just never happened, or nothing has been done. Or they vanish off the face of the earth and I literally feel that talking to them about ANYTHING is bugging them. Or I’m certain that they’re blanking me because sometimes hey, I talk to distract myself from shit times, or because I would like some help and nobody seems willing to give it – at least the people I consider myself as most reliant on.

Whatever. This stuff upsets me when I overthink it, and that’s when I start feeling awful fucking panic inside my chest. Not good and not fun. I want to breach the idea with Josh again but I don’t know how, and he is useless at most things that are important anyway. I’m tired of not knowing or being who I want.

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