Guess what I got for Christmas from my mates?

A f**king guitar.

Now, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but. I kinda am. I paid about ten quid for their presents. What the F**K am I meant to say when I give them mine? Like yeah… I know it’s not much(!)

Plus, now I feel like I have to let them have the gig tickets I bought on their behalf as their Christmas presents just to make up the money they have spent. I can’t help but wonder if they planned it… like, they were meant to pay me back on the day, one of them took the money out but like f**k did they give it to me before they left.

Stress I don’t need. A guitar I don’t need. Money I would like to keep in my f**king pocket. I’m already going for the most expensive Christmas for my parents this year, I bought Josh a ticket as a Christmas present and I don’t even really want him to have it as a present. And plus then surely if I give them more expensive stuff, I have to get more stuff for my other mate who will no doubt be there because we both didn’t have our presents to swap.

The thing is, that guitar came from the two people who complain the most about being skint. Why buy stupid things like that then? Like I really didn’t want to sound ungrateful or rude but I just really don’t appreciate it. It’s money I didn’t want them to spend on me. It’s an item that I have stressed, even to myself, that I don’t need. I don’t want to have loads of guitars, I already have four. Well, two electrics, and acoustic and a bass that I bought myself even though I shouldn’t have. I literally just bought myself the last instrument I didn’t need and I was like “yup, that’s it now”.

What a way to make me f**king panic. I’ve just spent a load on my parent’s most  expensive presents ever, I’m getting them tickets to a comedy show they like as a joint Christmas present and thank you for decorating my room. I bought Josh his ticket as a present and I regret it. People owe me money and I don’t like people owing me money. I pay shit back like straightaway, OK, it’s normally because I have it, but those guys said they don’t have money, but they can buy me a stupid guitar for a Christmas present? I’d rather have my money back -_-

Yes, I’m an ungrateful cow. I will stand up and own that shit. Because now I feel fucked. What happened to us spending like ten quid or less on presents? Why does EVERY year have to get more and more expensive and extravagant? My Nan asked what I want for Christmas and I was like “let me find you the cheapest place to get it”. She has bought me a six pound storage box for my newly decorated room and I am perfectly happy with that, and I asked for a clipboard to take to work, which she has probably spent under a fiver on. GREAT! 🙂 I get an expensive present maybe like once in a blue moon from my parents or sister, not my Nan or my friends and even that is at a push and it is usually something awesome. Most of my guitars have been presents and as a result, I’m not going to get rid of them. Otherwise, all I ask for is books or a film. Or something I really need. Like I once even asked my aunty for a spatula xD and we spent about five minutes suggesting stupid everyday things I could ask for.

Thing is, now I’m like oh I’m spending a load of money on myself for a tattoo tomorrow and it’s like… well I guess I should spend that on something else. Like however much stupid money to buy them something better than I have. I don’t normally spend my money, I have savings and stuff that I want for holidays or emergencies or to try and move out later. The thought behind it that they got me a guitar is amazing but I just wish they’d listened to me 😐 and I definitely wish it was something cheap, like it was second hand, fair enough, but I wish they hadn’t spent that much. Maybe I’ll have to ask them how much it was or if I can give them something towards it.

bleh. blehblehbleh. Merry fucking christmas huh. A time to be spent worry about whether you spent enough on other people -_-


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