TRIP HAZARD

That is work right now. That shitty little thing in your way that if you go over it the wrong way sends you stumbling and fucking up for a good few metres.

I did a twelve hour shift today, because I got called during a delivery asking if I could do click and collect… Same as I got called on Monday, yesterday, when I was supposed to be off, to do click and collect. They have this problem seemingly EVERY time.

I still wait at the end of my day to find out when I’m next working.

This shit is why I left my old job. Because I was getting called left right and centre to cover for other fucke.. forget my censoring today. Covering for other fuckers who just decided they weren’t working that day.

This shit is triggering so much in my head that I was seconds away from crying earlier. I didn’t want to tell them about all this stuff because I didn’t think I would be in that place again. OH how wrong I was. They’re fucking CAUSING it, because apparantly it’s THAT hard to schedule somebody in advance when they’re new and simply following someone else’s shifts… You’re telling me you can’t just read their shifts, write my name down and say “there you go”? Or if you know I’m doing click and collect, how about you just write my name down and say “there you go”?

HOW.

FUCKING.

SIMPLE.

or am I just so new and inexperienced that maybe I don’t get why you can’t do that? Note the sarcasm. It’s there.

So I have been up since about six a.m. and I’m now trying to stop myself from cutting off my hair or throwing out my clothes or just having some kind of freak out because I’m massively on edge. And my fucking internet is being a pleb.

My eyes hurt. That’s tiredness no doubt. But I can’t afford to sleep in late tomorrow or I won’t be up early on Thursday… is it Thursday? Yup, that’s when I’m next in.

Oh and I have to constantly worry about whether I’m doing the right amount of hours. Not fucking good for me either. I NEED stability enough to just be given my shifts because THAT’S SOMEBODY’S FUCKING JOB! and I come in and it’s all great! I thought working for a bigger company would mean all of that was plain sailing, but obviously not. And the thing is, other new people seem to have their shifts sorted. And they seem to be losing their patience and saying more and more stuff about how I am not out on my own yet and it’s like don’t you think I know?

Whatever, I’m just gonna vent on here and listen to Demi Lovato. Yes. I listen to Demi Lovato. Well, I try to but my internet decides it’s being a slow bastard. I have Skyscraper, but I never really checked out anything else and actually she has a lot of good stuff on her new album, I wouldn’t really go backwards to like just out of Disney era… O_O To be honest, I’m listening to all kinds of random stuff at the moment, I like to have classical on in the van while I’m working xD Yes. Classical. I don’t listen to the opera though. But I like the piano and string based things and gentler pieces.

Yeah, it’s chill out time. I’ve had a shower, I just CRAVED it when I got in so I had a proper scrub and I was gonna leave my hair to dry but when I tried to put it in a ponytail and it wouldn’t cooperate I was stressing out so I dried it and then I decided that I should leave it down instead because I’m sure having it up so much is RUINING my hairline… and then I was like fuck it I need to cut it all off.

Back to chilling. CHILLLLL. Chill.

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