I REALLY WISH I COULD DANCE

So my mum keeps saying to me I need to stop eating or I’ll get fat or “more fat”… I mean, what? I keep a pouch on my belly, that is like the most fat I have on my whole body! I’m not incredibly fit either, I don’t like exercising for the sake of exercising. If it’s fun, great! But to grovel away just for the sake of being fit? No thanks.

I don’t like having this stupid belly chub, but I also don’t want to end up with like a proper work-out body… I hate having a waist. It actually just doesn’t feel right. Plus if I feel bored or a bit shit, I eat. If I have nothing else to do (or I just feel like I don’t), I eat. So many crisps have been consumed recently and I never used to eat crisps this much. At my flat it was chocolate because I ended up with MASSES of it… And at the flat before that? I didn’t eat junk food. Well, I probably ate some utter shit, but I didn’t have many extras for a sweet tooth. I had like… one packet of biscuits that I can recall the whole time I lived there.

I used to really like cycling, but now I am unsure about it. Josh has gotten really into it and he’s gone posh about it, which I don’t do. I like riding in nice weather to just be outside and feel the air whooshing by. But the weather has kinda eliminated that right now. He keeps telling me to try riding into work (I don’t know if I have posted about my new job yet…) but I don’t want to because it takes the fun out of it. He’s all “leave your work shoes in your locker and do this and do that” and sometimes it’s just like STFU. He cycles to work, great on him! Personally, I don’t want to do that right now, I’m not ready to have the added extra shit of getting changed and freshening up before I start work. I had a month or so of no work and now I’m in four days a week, training to be an online delivery driver. The thing is, if you work the mornings, you get the brunt of the work. You load your own van, hit the road, obviously dealing with carrying people’s shopping all day and whatnot, then you come back to base… and load the van for the evening shift. Yeah. You load the van twice and the lucky shits in the evening can essentially just hit the road. Some of these things are HEAVY as well – I hate anyone who buys bottled water or multipacks of coke. You are the delivery driver’s worst enemies.

Please, next time you order your shopping online, consider the poor morning shift workers who have to load a shopping van twice during the day, and just say: “Nah, I don’t need that drink. I have a tap.”

I kid, but honestly, it’s pretty rough going in the training stage and it’s just like, I have had to ask for help because things have been too heavy and if you take too long, you start getting late. If I was on my own, I probably would have been f**ked a couple of times. It’s a massive game of keeping up with the clock, and I’ve been going out on the road with another lady driver who is great! Everyone else is a guy and it’s like, I really need to see how she survives, but they all say the same. Give it a bit, lifting will get easier, don’t stress, call people, shit happens. They are actually a really nice lot to work with, it’s kind of a shame you only see them before you go and when you come back! xD

Anyway, this was a post about dancing. Yes. I mentioned my job because that is like, a bit of a workout at the moment but I really do need to get fit. I keep watching Sia’s videos on Youtube with Maddie Zeigler in them and I just watched Strictly Come Dancing earlier. I REALLY wish I could dance. I reckon I could dance like Maddie, it would just look like a mess instead of well-choreographed mess… Like I mean, I forgot the word but GOD I have forgotten it completely. The dancing where you just do whatever the f**k you want and it’s still called dancing.

CONTEMPORARY! There we go, the one that is a bit skew-whiff but kinda gymnastic-y, kind of ballet-ish. I don’t understand it, but I reckon I’d be great!! Just stick an arm out there, shimmy a bit, roll on the floor…

I’m also not taking the piss, dancing is F**KING hard. I don’t even dance but I do some hyperactive bedroom or bathroom performing for half a minute or so and I’m dead.

Also I spelt choroe.. I can’t spell. I write things for a hobby and I still can’t spell sometimes. Everyone has their flaws, kids! I spelt choreographed wrong up there and I didn’t notice, but if you scroll up again, it’s written correctly and that, is all thanks to spell check. LONG LIVE SPELL CHECK!

Yes, back to dancing. I just think it would be more fun than sitting on.. well not sitting on a machine, but I know what I mean. Gymming for an hour. I also have actually always wanted to do gymnastics but I reckon I’m such a fluke anyway there is no point. And I would have to find somewhere. And probably not wear socks. I hate feet. So maybe I’ll just dance in my bedroom to get fit. And I want to learn like, boxing or karate or some kind of … boxing isn’t a mart.. is boxing a martial art? Am I being a twat?

slvha;iuvb;sieurvb;ab it’s been a long week OKAY!? OKAYDW>~Q:@<Q£

Basically, I want to get fit by doing cool stuff. Not just going to the gym. I did like the gym, but by doing something else I would kinda have a skill. Not just “I can go on the cross trainer for an hour and not break a sweat”. It would be “I CAN… see possibly break your face doesn’t seem .. who am I kidding, yeah that’s cooler. “I CAN BREAK YOUR FACE AND THEN DANCE NEXT TO YOU AS YOU CRY, BITCH!”

Put that on my grave when somebody decks me for being a twat xD *Victory Dance*

Is boxing actually a martial art? I think I should google that. I’d like to think I’m smart, but then my brain trips me up over ridiculously stupid shit. Like this.

Okay so apparently, the internet has many big arguments on whether boxing is a martial art. Be free, and share the knowledge that I didn’t have and now googled and given to you!

I guess I should also stop eating rubbish though… BUT CHRISTMAS IS COMING! Although, I did kinda say to myself that by the new year (and this is another resolution to FLOP) that I will have a new wardrobe of men’s clothes or at least stuff I like and feel good in. And maybe to have cut my hair, and finally have that stupid binder I’ve been meaning to measure for -_- So I think I can try and have a … I just realised, that I’d be, well, I doubt I’ll pass, but I’d be a guy, trying to learn how to dance and my brain still wants to be like OMG that’s so gay. YEAH well. Right now I’m a girl trying to learn how to drive a van and haul stupid bottled water around and everyone else in that job is a guy so F**K THE SYSTEM! I just like dancing. OHOHOH I especially like the ice dancing. ❤ ❤ ❤ Omg I LOOOooOOVE the ice dancing. Like, I only ever watch it on the Olympics, along with, wtf am I saying, I watched Dancing On Ice too because I liked it, but yeah that and the gymnastics are the two things I will sit and watch.

My brain sometimes runs off on its own. Can you notice?

I need to timetable my life, so that I start getting fit. I actually function really well when I am timetabled. Like I set myself, maybe a year or so ago, that I had half an hour or hour long sessions of guitar, learning Japanese and writing every day and it was getting me somewhere. So, from the, well I should start before, cheat my way to keeping a resolution because I started the habit early AHA wink wink wink.

I will organise my shit! (And if I don’t, you’ll hear about it by like…. next year on the 4th of January or something :P)

I am very sorry if my rambling doesn’t always make sense. I don’t tend to edit myself before I type. Or after for that matter.

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