Tonight, I went back to my radio presenting after the broadcasting stopped over the holidays. That’s understandable.

I was hyped, because while it had stressed me out this afternoon coming up with a setlist of stuff, by about half 8 I’d found two hours worth of music and sorted it out into a proper flowwww. Last time I’d gone off my own setlist, it was stocked from about two weeks before because loads of shit wasn’t running yet. That was annoying.

So you’d think, OK they’ve been off for the holidays, maybe it’ll be a bit shitty. There is NO excuse for whatever went on tonight. I swear -_-

I finished my setlist at about half 8, and I’m on at nine. So I’m like WAHHH D: I need to go!!! And I make myself supernoodles that I eat in record time… I do not like rushing my food. I REALLY do not like it.

BUT I’m trying not to be late because I actually enjoy this radio stuff and I think I can put it  on my CV so I want to be good at it, I mean who knows what it could get me?

I speedwalk to the studio and I get set up, my laptop comes out of my bag and I set it on the table, the pad comes out where I tick songs off and write where is a decent space to talk.

Then it turns out that I plug in my laptop and nothing wants to bloody work. So I spent about 5 minutes freaking out and I got it going with my first song from my playlist in WMP. I’ve told everyone to listen because WOO!! the radio! Turns out that I’ve been playing (it was about 5 songs in) and nobody could hear a SINGLE THING.


I literally unplugged my laptop and plugged it back in again.

Unplugged the inputs and put them into the next door input.

Just tried to do what little bit I could, and every single thing I tried, everyone was still like “nope”.

I’m meant to be in that radio station for two hours.

I started at about quarter past nine, and by ten I was out. I literally just went, “F**K this I’m going home.” The ultimately shitty thing was that I’d stressed myself all afternoon getting music for it, I’d rushed my dinner so I wouldn’t be late, because this stuff isn’t just for me, it’s for whoever listens and I plan it so I have a lot of music to play.

I’d even come home from my holiday EARLY for this. I could have stayed around at home, but nope. I want to commit, but why should I now?

So many times nothing in there has worked, I even got told after I said “oh the radio wasn’t working the other day” that something had been wrong with it the WHOLE DAY and nobody thought to tell the girl that plans to go there at 9pm, to leave at 11pm, to be in the dark, alone, that yah, the radio isn’t working, just call it quits today.

I am not impressed, and I was hoping to start the new year of broadcasting with, “a CRASH!” because CRASH is the name of my radio show–I play some heavy f**king shit :’) — but how bloody ironic(!) I come in to the radio to be like CRASH! NEW YEAR HAS STARTED!

Instead it’s like CRASH! F**KING FAIL.

Guh -_-

So now I’m listening to my radio setlist from where I left off like WOO! with fairy lights instead of strobe lights, and the lingering smell of Josh xD My bed actually smells like him from where he cocoons himself for the day when he’s here. I have to admit it’s quite comforting but jeez it’s gonna smell like that for ages instead of just washed bedsheets 😦

I actually got these new for christmas from my sister so I put them on clean the second I got back ^_^ I love the smell of clean bedsheets… and they’re always so nice and kind of crispy fresh and not nasty and bleugh 😛

Anyway. Yeah,

Happy New Year and all that Jazz! My first blog post is a rant… Deary me -_-