BEING LEFT HANDED SUCKS.
There aren’t that many things that really grind me up, but this is one of them. The ultimate shit-fest that is being left handed. Some of these I have mentioned before but I felt I needed to actually write a post about this because I saw something that seriously annoyed me today xD
1. A person’s instant reaction is “Oh my god! You’re left handed!”
I know it’s a bit rare but for f*cks sake it’s not like I’m as rare as some kind of endangered animal. There’s more of us around than you think, most of the time you just don’t notice ya “we rule the world” righties, you.
2. Jokes about “dirty lefties” are really f*cking lame.
Right is right and left is wrong, I’m the spawn of Satan, I get it, now leave me to sacrifice a goat in peace.
3. The stationery market thinks left handed people need their own specific everything.
I CAN actually use a ruler that reads 1-30 from left to right. In fact that actually makes more sense than a left handed version that reads the other way around… maybe because we don’t read right to left (at least not in Britain).
A left handed pair of blades called scissors are a bit dumb too… in fact I only used them because in school everyone right handed wanted to avoid them like the plague.
4. You actually occasionally get asked if you write right to left… Just no.
5. In the world of music, being left handed is hard because nearly all the really nice instruments are exclusively right handed.
I get that it’s a demand thing but some of us do genuinely try and play right handed and it doesn’t work I learnt right handed first.
6. Some dumb online guitar tuner has decided “Lefty” is a tuning. All it does is make the strings read “EBGDAE”…
That’s actually even more confusing! Because the rhyme is Eddie Ate Dynamite, Good Bye Eddie. Why the hell does somebody think a left handed person can’t tune a guitar unless it’s f*cking backwards?!
7. When you’re actually playing something pretty good on guitar, you’re instantly patronised *NOT complimented* for playing “stuff like that left handed”.
Do not assume that because I’m left handed, I must be shit. On top of that I’ve also been patronised for playing “stuff like that and being a girl”. It’s SO fun being a minority within a minority(!)
8. When you play guitar left handed, people automatically say “you must love Kurt Cobain/… (I totally haven’t forgotten his name…)” OH jeez I really have forgotten his name xD
Basically, if forgetting his name is not proof enough, NO I DO NOT LOVE THEM JUST BECAUSE I’M LEFT HANDED TOO!
9. You can’t even keep your left handed idol to yourself, nor are people respectful of the fact they are left handed when making their replica signature guitars.
My example of this is Zacky Vengeance from Avenged Sevenfold.
You can buy replicas of Syn and Zacky’s guitars but they only make them right handed…
If he’s left handed and you’re making a replica, make it left handed. I don’t care if some poor righty has to miss out on it because tough shit, Zacky is ours and you can’t have him :O
And for now, that is all.
Until some other dumb leftist shit pisses me off xD
Adore Mr Zacky Vengeance ^_^